“Son, I'm Proud For You”

Jay Horsley

Sometimes in simple, heartfelt phrases we see biblical truth illustrated. Consider the instruction that Christians are to disavow every form of envy, jealousy and rivalry: “...putting aside all malice and all guile and hypocrisy and envy.” 1 Pet. 2:1 But often our own lives show a sinful weakness to want what others have, be jealous at their progress, and bemoan our own difficulties and slights (both real and often imagined).

These sinful attitudes result in hard feelings and alienation of brethren. If something good happens to me I might decide not to share it with some sister or brother because I can already hear the carping complaints that will come. Maybe they'll just respond to my good news with a rehearsing of all the bad things that have come to them. Some folks seem to take every occasion for my rejoicing as a proper time to air one (or more) of their complaints. Or maybe someone else decides they had better not share their good news with me for fear that I might be so boldly embittered as to criticize them directly. These are not the sort of things that make for the continuation of brotherly love. As the elder James said, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” Jas. 3:16

In unsurpassed contrast to these attitudes, I remember an older brother back home where I grew up. This good brother, Brother L., was one who certainly had room for complaint. Although he had grown up poor like so many of his time, he had done well for himself through hard work. He had traveled the country working doing a highly skilled, but very physically demanding job. In the course of his work he had completely worn out his body. His heart, back and neck had all required numerous sugeries and many days his health didn't permitted him to leave the house. His wife had not only gone blind, but had lost most of the use of her hands due to a degenerative condition. So Brother L. had to take on a large part of the cleaning, cooking, and household chores.

Brother and sister L. were still some of the most cheerful people you would ever meet. In fact, when they were able to leave their house, they often would go and care for their family and brethren. Their faith and cheerfully countenances were sorely tested several years back when their beloved only child died as a young adult. Then his widow remarried and fell away from the faith. Although all these trials afflicted them greatly they did not lose heart, or their faith.

Now that you know something of Brother L's troubles, I want you to know of one of his favorite sayings. Whenever something good happened to anyone else, he would always say, “I am proud for you.” He was never bitter or jealous as those around him progressed and even flourished in this life. Envy was not a part of his character.

I remember so may times his saying to me, “Son, I'm proud for you.” As I made my trek through life, opportunities opened for me to go places and see and do things that he was never able. Both when I went off to college and came back with a degree, he was first in line to say, “Son, I'm proud for you.” When I married and headed overseas to preach the gospel he was there to say, “Son, I'm proud for you.” At the birth of each of my children, again came his words, “Son, I'm proud for you.” And not just these momentous times, but at many simpler daily events his genuine joy for others was appearant. When I bought that nice used truck, when I got my own house just down the street from him, when I was invited to preach at a neighboring congregation's lectureship for the first time, and in everything that I was happy about, he was there to say, “Son, I'm proud for you.”

This sincere regard for another's advancement was not just for me, but for all the brethren and friends he had. I remember his face beaming with shared joy at the birth of other's grandchildren; a blessing he and his wife knew they would never enjoy. He would be the first to come to your housewarming (his health permitting) with something he made himself before returning to his own simple wood frame house. In the same way, the produce of his garden often went to many who had much more than himself. As others all around him advanced in every area of life (both in that small town and in places far from it), we were already to share the good things in our lives with Brother L. because he would sincerely rejoice with us and share in the pride of our accomplishments. Envy, jealousy and strife were strangers at his house.

Brother L. lived the apostle Paul's admonition of 1 Cor. 13:4, “...love does not envy (is not jealous)...” Do we?