“Prom Promise,” Or A Better Promise?

Jay Horsley

In past years (and maybe even now), a “Nationwide Prom Promise” has been promoted. It is not altogether a bad thing. This “Prom Promise” comes printed on a two part card. The longer part has a promise to abstain from alcohol and drugs during prom activities. There is a place for the student to print and sign their names to the promise. There is even a place for a witness' signature to add confirmation to it. The “Prom Promise” is intended to be taken seriously.

The smaller part of the “Prom Promise” card is a detachable wallet sized tear off for the student to take with them. It contains a shorter version of the promise, which reads, “THE NATIONWIDE PROM PROMISE: I promise not to use alcohol or other drugs. This is a promise I take seriously. It's one I intend to keep, for my sake and the sake of my friends and family.” This part also has a place for the students to sign.

Let us first begin by noting the good things of this “Prom Promise.”

1.) Promise To Abstain From Drugs. This is good because these illegal substances are very harmful to the body, addictive and cause many destructive behaviors.

2.) Promise To Abstain From Alcohol. This is good because for students of an age to attend proms, alcohol is just as illegal as drugs are. The penalties may not be as severe, but drinking is completely illegal just the same. All are to obey civil authority (Rom. 13:1-6), but many wink at the breaking of these laws and allow minors to drink. But the drinker and provider are subject to arrest, criminal trials and punishments. Alcohol is very harmful to the body, can be addictive or habitual, and causes many destructive behaviors, especially unchastity, drunk driving and violence. All Christians are to abstain from every form of drinking. (1 Pet. 4:3)

3.) The Seriousness of An Oath Is Stressed. This promise is almost in the form of an oath. Young people should take seriously, and should be soberly reminded, that evil cannot lightly be engaged in. The long form of the promise ends with “I'm signing it. I mean it. I'm keeping it.”  The resolve is noble, but the signers must be careful to keep it. Solomon taught, “When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it, for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.” (Eccl. 5:4,5) If you're going to make a promise, you'd better learn early to keep it.

4.) Helps Youth Realize Their Actions Effect Others. The promise states that it is to be kept “for my sake and the sake of my friends and family.” It is good to remind all people, but especially the young, that their actions can have long lasting effects on themselves and others. Many young people think that they are ten foot tall and bullet proof. They are not. I have attended the funerals of families in horrible grief as their teenage children were buried. I know of fathers who have spent all of their income and retirement savings to pay for their son's rehab. The scriptures teach “For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord.” (Rom. 14:7,8) We must all realize that we are part of something greater than ourselves and acting in selfish interest is always inconsiderate and often sinful.

In all these things the promise is good. But it could be much better. Why should we be so serious about abstaining from some sins, but not others? Let's ask our youth to abstain from ALL sin.

This promise would be greatly improved by adding:

1.) I Will Abstain From Lasciviousness. Proms are school sponsored sensuality. “Sensual” (“lascivious”) is defined as “unbridled lust, excess, ...wanton acts..as filthy words, indecent bodily movements, unchaste handling of males and females, etc.” (Thayer's) This certainly describes dancing. “Dancing is an art from to express lovemaking. For this reason steps and positions are designed to bring into physical contact those parts of a man and woman which are most sexually sensitive. Movements are designed to be visually simulating sexually.” (Curt Sachs, World History of Dance) How can Christians keep pure doing this?

Stirring up such lusts at the prom often leave youths in such a state that they wish to gratify their desires. Many are promiscuous after the prom (or any dance). Some parents seem to be naive of this fact. They actually facilitate immorality by providing hotel rooms or suites for after-prom parties for their children and their friends. Supervision at such late night goings-on is usually limited or nonexistent.

2.) I Will Abstain From Immodesty. Proms are known for very expensive gowns and dresses. But the cost of these dresses seems to be inversely proportionate to the amount that they cover. Most prom dresses are immodest. They are short, low-cut on the top, high-cut on the bottom and/or have a form fitting cling to the body like unto undergarments. Or consider the absurdity of great gowns with yards of fabric in the bottom but not enough on top to cover the entire bosom. None of this “befits women making a claim to godliness,” nor is it “proper clothing, modest and discreet.” (1 Tim. 2:9,10) No Christian woman should appear in public in this way, nor should any Christian man escort one so attired. But such immodesty is doted on by the parents who provide such expensive, yet ungodly, clothing and the immodesty is memorialized forever in smiling photographs.

3.) Therefore I Will Not Go To The Prom. Though some seek to avoid some sins at the prom, too many other sins go with it. Why is such a solemn “Prom Promises” solicited from the worldly young who go to these events? Because even secular people realize that these destructive things have become intertwined with it. Some try to get students to avoid the worst things of the prom without swearing it off all together. But such half measure are doomed to failure. Like the alcohol industry telling us to “drink responsibly” or the call to use condoms to have “safe sex,” the “Prom Promise” is an attempt to do a bad thing in a better way. No matter how carefully you do wrong, it's still wrong.

Young Christians, please know that avoiding the worst of the sins of the prom is not the same as being pure. “Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord. "AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me," Says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Cor. 6:17,18)